


Autumn Leaf

by Gaaladrieel



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Sweethearts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Musicians, Romantic Fluff, can you tell, fili and kili have a band, guitarist Kili, musician kíli
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 16:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16520087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaaladrieel/pseuds/Gaaladrieel
Summary: Tauriel and Kili had been best friends since they were 6, up until Tauriel moved away when they were 12.15 years later, she's back, re-living memories as she walks old paths that bring back all the why’s, how’s, and what if’s, which is why she finds herself outside of the Green Dragon a Friday night to see Kili play, with a hope that he remembers her.





	Autumn Leaf

**Author's Note:**

> The first song the guys play is Lost In My Mind by The Head and the Heart, the other one is just something I wrote :) 
> 
> While writing this story, I listened to a few indie/folk/pop/chill compilation videos on youtube, and I'll link them here if anyone wants some music :) I'll include my Spotify playlist with songs I thought fit the story, or that I listened to a lot while writing and set the mood. 
> 
> \- [Wanderlust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCCqqPqDqSY&t=213s) (John Bryant's At Home is in this video, and is perfect for this fic)  
> \- [September 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpWtOULeGHk) (I listened to this a lot!)  
> \- [Fernweh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjWnx1uSkkY)  
> \- [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/user/idamiipo/playlist/3rAsxrqsR8EN2YQ7v0H7IP?si=i1svrV_dQAeXdIAoicO_iQ)  
> 

 

“But... You promised me you’d go camping with us next weekend!” Kili’s voice wobbles and his eyes shine brightly of unshed tears in the light of a street lamp.

“I’m so sorry, Kili...” Tauriel whispers.

The big blocks of flats seem small now, a row of boring grey buildings on the other side of the park. The lights from the windows shine brighter, her own crescent moon lamp shining at her in the distance. It’s grown dark outside, and they should’ve both been home at least an hour ago.

But she hadn’t had the heart to tell him earlier. He had been so happy, he always was, but they had had so much fun climbing the trees, and finding blueberries. Today had been a good day for them both. Until she ruined it all by telling him she was leaving.

“I don’t want to, Kili,” she sniffs.

His shoulders slump at his sides, and Kili looks up at her, blowing his dark hair away from his eyes. “I know...” He mumbles.

“But dad’s got a job...” She takes a deep breath. “Thank you for today.”

 

Her small smile is far from her usual big, happy ones, Kili thinks, but still beautiful, and he’d much rather see his best friend smile.

The wind picks up her long auburn hair, the strands suddenly covering her face, and Tauriel giggles as Kili’s small fingers stroke her cheek, placing her wild strands behind her ear.

“Here,” he says, and stretches out his other hand. Tauriel looks down at his purple-stained palm and the few blueberries he picked just before they walked out of the forest, and smiles. “Let’s share the last ones.”

Nodding, Tauriel takes half and gives Kili a coloured smile as she swallows them.

They stand there for some time, their hands holding onto each other tight. Tauriel can hear him sniff as they start walking over the field back towards the apartment blocks, making her eyes sting as she finally lets herself cry.

“I love you, autumn leaf,” Kili whispers into her hair when he hugs her.

“And I love you,” Tauriel sniffs.

“We’ll see each other again soon.”

“We will.”

Kili looks at her with his big dark eyes, giving her a smile as he strokes her cheek.

And then he leaves. Slowly turning his back to her, he makes his way up the path to the block at the end, and Tauriel wipes her tears with the sleeve of her knitted jumper as she heads down the path to her own block at the other end.

 

They had been 12 back then. 12 years. They’d been so young, innocent, with so much love for each other, and knew too little of the world. She had often thought of what had happened since then. Tauriel had thought they’d keep in touch, forever and always, as they used to say.

But she never heard from him. Nor did she reach out to him. And with the loss of her friend, went a piece of herself, making her feel hollow in a way, the emptiness and loneliness hitting her the worst when she was alone, or something reminded her of him, a strange feeling of sorrow wrapping itself around her.

But she’d done alright over the years.

And now, 15 years later, she’s back, having moved into a house by the lake, half an hour away from where they lived as kids.

She’d gone to the row of apartment blocks yesterday, only to frown at the sight of them. She’d always hated the place and had never really understood why they had to live there when it wasn’t the right place for them, the right type of home, not after living out on the countryside for her first 6 years.

It had been strange seeing them again, but worse was the walk past them to the field behind, and to the forest. The whole area looked just as she remembered, although even more grey and dull than it usually did back then, thanks to the cold, misty November weather.

And then she had seen her and Kili’s initials carved into one of the trees, and the sight had brought tears to her eyes, bringing back all the why’s, how’s, and what if’s.

 

Which is why she’s here now, outside of the Green Dragon pub. She feels nauseous and wipes her sweaty palms on her dark brown trousers.

She can already hear the music playing from inside, her heart beating hard in her chest as she moves towards it, handing her ticket over to a guy by the door.

It’s an indie folk style of music, and the sound of guitars and drums grows louder and louder, the music, warmth, and smell of beer like a blanket thrown over her as she walks inside. The pub is full, and the people and dim lighting make it hard to see the stage.

But then there’s a group heading towards the bar to her right, and Tauriel quickly takes three long steps, taking their place, and continues on forwards as quickly as she can, winding between people, careful not to spill anyone’s drink as the small free spaces leads her to the left of the stage. And finally stops right in front of it.

_“Oh, my brother! Your wisdom is older than me!”_

Tauriel looks over to her right, finding long blonde locks and a big grin as Fili looks over at his brother.

 _“Oh, my brother! Don't you worry 'bout me!”_ Fili sings.

And there he is.

Tauriel’s heart is beating wild, and her eyes widen.

 _“Don’t you worry! Don’t you worry, don’t worry ‘bout me!”_ both Fili and Kili sing.  
  


She can’t take her eyes off them. Off Kili.

His hair is similar to his brother’s, only dark. The locks falling to his shoulders just like when they were kids.

She doesn’t know what she was expecting, what Kili would look like, what sort of music they’d play. She’s known for a few years that he’s in a band, but has never had the courage to look him up, or his music. Considering his family is quite musical and would always play on instruments and sing when they got together, she wasn’t that surprised when her mum told her the brothers are in a band.

Her mum had told her about the concert, having looked at what was happening in town in the paper, and seen Kili’s face, and told her more than once to go.

So here she is. Standing stock still by the stage with an open mouth, staring at the man in front of her.

Someone bumps into her just as the pace of a new, slow song quickens, jolting her awake from her thoughts just in time to see Fili laughing at his brother skipping across the stage, swinging around with his guitar in hand.

Tauriel laughs, a low giggle bubbling out of her as she watches Kili swaying his way back to his side of the stage, and Tauriel moves along to the sight of him, and the cheerful music. But as he lifts his head and grins at the crowd, it finally hits her. What if he sees her?! How will he react? Will he even recognise her? And if he doesn’t, should she try to meet with him after the concert?

Looking down, she suddenly worries if she’s looking good enough for their ‘first’ meeting. Wanting to both look good, but also comfortable, she wonders if her brown trousers, dark green jumper, and brown boots are too comfortable.

Touching the small orange maple leaf resting on her chest, Tauriel is glad she chose to wear the necklace Kili had given her for her 10th birthday, only a month before she left.

Shaking her head, taking a deep breath, and slowly moving her hips to the music, she tries to push the thoughts and worry aside, wanting to enjoy the concert, despite how strange it is seeing the brothers again.

They’re lively and fun, both music and musicians, the happy tunes, smiles and laughter creating a wonderful, warm atmosphere. The dancing and singing crowd draws her in, making her sway along and gently stomp her feet, the smile never fading. Fili is apparently the main singer, his voice as warm and wonderful as Tauriel remembers, although a bit deeper than it was back then. Kili joins in now and then, his voice similar to his brother’s, only a tad lighter and cheerful.

When the sixth song ends, the lights go dark, and Tauriel wonders if it’s over already. But then Kili walks up to his microphone to the sound of whistling and cheers from the crowd, a small smile on his lips.

His long fingers gently begin to pluck the strings of his guitar, Fili joining him, a soft sound in the background, and the room falls quiet. She definitely wasn’t expecting this, for Kili to be singing alone, or to sound so... Vulnerable, hurt almost...

Again, she can’t take her eyes off him. Memories of their childhood together come to mind, moments of a wild Kili running around and climbing trees, dressed in his brother’s old jeans, and jumpers with too long sleeves. He’s still so much like the Kili she used to know, only an adult, much taller but just as slim, although there’s definitely some muscles on his arms now, the black t-shirt tight and perfect around them and his torso, the black jeans he’s wearing looking just as good on him.

Tauriel can feel her cheeks go warm, she wasn’t expecting to find him so attractive either.

_“Oh!”_

Tauriel blinks, realising she’s been listening but not really hearing the start of the song.

_“There’s an ocean between us darling, of roads and buildings I can’t get myself to swim through to get to you.”_

_“It’s been years of longing, with only a hope of seeing you again.”_

Her body stops moving. The long auburn hair parting at her shoulders hangs down her back and chest, and she twists the ends of a part around her fingers.

_“It’s been too long, too long since I last saw you.”_

Looking up and at the crowd, Kili lets his fingers play the most beautiful music she’s heard. He’s looking over at the other side of the room, and Tauriel makes the most of enjoying his profile.

 _“But I’m coming your way darling,”_ Kili sings, looking straight ahead. Then he blinks and focuses on the people right in front of him.

He looks to be far away, she thinks. It’s obvious the song is dear to him, how else could it change him so.

 _“But I’m coming your way, darling,”_ he sings softly.

_“I’ll let the wind blow me away, and I’ll find you, my autumn leaf.”_

Kili’s eyes widen as they land on her, and Tauriel gasps. “ _Did he... Did he really sing that?"_  she wonders.

He blinks, and pushing his guitar around onto his back, Kili jumps off the stage. His arms are strong and warm as they pull her close to him, and Tauriel throws her arms around his neck. 

She can hear the crowd cheer and clap, Fili letting out a laugh before continuing with the song, and as embarrassing as it may be, they couldn’t have been happier.

“My autumn leaf,” Kili whispers against her neck, a tear falling down her cheek at the nickname said with such love, a name she didn’t know if she would ever hear again. “Oh god how I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she sniffs. The tears keep rolling down her cheeks. The feeling of Kili’s tight hold on her is better than she could’ve imagined, and the smell of him! It all makes her feel safe and comfortable. He feels like home.

“We’ve got two songs left,” he says as he lifts his head to look at her. Cupping her cheeks, Kili lets his thumbs stroke the soft, freckled skin, the smile on his face growing when he looks at her. “But don’t you dare leave, Tauriel,” he laughs.

“I won’t, I promise,” she smiles.

“Good,” he says softly and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

Their eyes never leave the other for the rest of the gig, and Tauriel can’t help but feel giddy, her body warm and tingly. The looks and smiles Kili gives her makes her knees weak, and along with newfound feelings, sparks up memories and a pull towards him just like when they were kids.

They end the concert to loud cheers, the crowd singing along to their last words, and it’s impossible not to dance along.

“Thank you!” the brothers shout, clapping along with the crowd. Putting their guitars down, Fili, Kili, and the rest of the band bows to the crowd before giving each other hugs and pats on the back.

She stands there still, twinning a lock of red between her fingers, unsure whether to stay put or walk over to Kili. He did tell her not to leave, and Tauriel is thankful for it, leaving is the last thing she wants to do. A few people give her a smile and a wink as they walk past her, but there is, of course, one who frowns at her before sticking their nose in the air. No matter what looks, it all makes her anxious, a nervous lump growing in her stomach.

“Hey, you alright?” Kili’s voice is warm and soft, just like the hand that takes hers, stopping her from turning her locks into knots. “I know that face,” he smiles.

“All good,” she says, letting out a quiet laugh. “Just not used to the attention.”

“Yeah, I saw that, sorry,” Kili laughs, Tauriel smiling at the sound, and the nervousness ebbs away.

“And I didn’t know if I should go over to you or not,” she says quietly.

He still has her hand in his, comforting her by stroking the skin with his thumb. His eyes are dark and wonderful, shining in the dim light. Gently, Kili entwines their fingers together, biting his lower lip as he looks from their hands to her small smile that only grows the longer he looks at her.

“Come,” he says quickly. “Let’s get out of here before anyone else bothers you.”

“Oh, I can handle myself just fine, you know.”

He takes her up on the stage, down a couple steps, humming in agreement, as his hold on her hand tightens. “When you know people, yes, but if you’re anything like when we were kids, then I’m not so sure.”

She frowns a little, and Kili laughs as he pushes open a door to a room behind the stage. “Remember when you came over for my 7th birthday, meeting my entire family for the first time? If I remember correctly, you took one step inside, turned, and ran out into the forest.”

“Kili!”

“C’mon, admit the thought crossed your mind tonight, you never liked big crowds.”

“No,” she says defeated. “I still don’t.”

Letting go of her hand, Kili wraps his arm around her, grinning at the sound of her little giggle. “Remember what happened?” Kili laughs.

“If I’m not wrong,” Fili says as he walks over to them. “Uncle scared the shit out of you when he found you behind a tree, but he’s got his way with words and it only took him a minute before you were in his arms, laughing at his stupid jokes.”

“To my defence, Thorin was huge and with all that long hair and beard he was fairly scary as he silently popped up in front of me!”

“It’s good to see you again, Tauriel,” Fili laughs. “And he’s just as huge and scary now.”

Kili’s hand slides down to her lower back, letting Fili put his arms around her shoulders, hugging her tight.

“It’s good to see you too,” she says. “And I bet.”

 _“Single?”_ Fili mouths to his brother. Kili shrugs, mouthing, _“don’t know.”_

“But he’s grown a bit softer over the years,” Fili chuckles as he draws back. “Met someone you know, that tends to do it. A wonderful guy he’s with, our Uncle Bilbo.”

“Oh, uhm, I actually know that... Mum told me,” Tauriel says, frowning a little. “No idea how she’d know that... But the news of it cheered me up!” she smiles. “According to mum he’s been working hard the last 14 years, so I hope he’s taking it easy now.”

“Easy and easy,” Fili laughs. “So how about you, anyone special in your life?”

“Well...”

Behind her, Kili tenses up.

“Not really,” She smiles.

Kili’s breath is hot against her neck, and she turns at the sound of a sigh.

“So no partner then?” Fili asks, smiling innocently at his brother’s frown.

“Nah,” Tauriel chuckles. “Single as a one-string fiddle.”

“Same!” Kili says quickly. He’s cheeks going red as she looks at him, surprised by his outburst. Then she smiles, and Kili’s hand on her back grips the fabric of her jumper.

“As a fiddle,” Fili laughs. “Well, good!”

Tauriel arches a brow at that and is just about to ask why when one of the band members sticks their head in from the open door. 

“Ready, or?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Fili says. “Kili, the other guys left, Ori and I’ll head home now, you wanna go with us... Or?”

“Ori?” Tauriel’s eyes go wide, and she looks around Kili. “I knew there was something familiar about you!”

“Hi Tauriel,” Ori smiles as he walks inside.

“Oh my god, it’s been so many years since I’ve seen any of you...” Tauriel grabs him by the shoulders and hugs him.

“Do you have a lift home Tauriel, or would you like us to drive you anywhere?” Fili asks.

“Thank you, but I drove here myself.”

Turning back around, she looks at Kili. “I can take you home if you’d like, or you can come over to my place, I’d love to catch up.”

“O-or... Or we can meet another day if you’d like.”

“Your place sounds good,” Kili says quietly with a smile.

“Wait,” he says. “Do you live here now?”

“I do!” Tauriel smiles.

“Please don’t tell me you went back to the flats?”

“Oh, dear no!” she laughs. “Mum and dad live in a top flat here in the centre of Dale, I live by the lake by Erebor.”

All three men laugh then. “Of course you do,” Ori says.

“Can’t take our forest elf out of the forest,” says Fili.

“I’m glad,” Kili smiles.

 

It’s strange at first, having Kili sitting in her car. He’s there, right next to her, just like that, after not having seen each other in 16 years.

“It’s a bit weird this, isn’t it,” Kili says. “It’s been so long.”

Tauriel laughs. “I was just thinking it.”

She starts the car and puts the radio on, smiling at Kili humming along to the music as they drive out of the centre.

As they stop at a red light, both look to their left. The road looks like any other road in the area, lined with lights, and nice houses, but both know where it leads.

“You don’t still live there do you?” Tauriel asks as she turns right.

“No,” Kili says. “It wasn’t so bad living there, to be honest. But it was small, and too many people around. It wasn’t home.”

“True.”

 

It doesn’t take long before they’re driving on the road by the lake, each side are lined with huge trees, and there are houses on both sides here too, but not as close to the road, or each other.

"Here we are," She says as she drives up to a teal and white coloured house on their right.

 

“Can I borrow your shower?” He’s taken off his shoes, and are standing in the doorway leading to the living room, gently swinging the bag in his hand back and forth. “Always get so sweaty and gross during a gig, so hot up there.” He mumbles.

“Of course. Bathroom’s right there,” she says, nodding at the door to Kili’s left.

“Ah, thanks!” he smiles. He gently closes the door behind himself, and Tauriel takes off her dark green coat, hanging it up on one of the wooden hooks by the door.

She lights the candles on her coffee table and the tv stand as she walks through the living room to her bedroom. Leaving her jumper on, Tauriel takes off her bra, and trousers, putting on soft, black sweatpants instead, along with woollen socks, taking another pair with her back into the living room for Kili.

It doesn’t take her long to make a fire in the fireplace, the wood crackling, the fire lighting up the living room and kitchen in a warm orange glow.

She can hear the shower being turned off just as she begins mixing milk, sugar, and cocoa in a pot on the stove.

  
“Just like old times,” Kili says when they sit down in the sofa in front of the fireplace later, both with a big mug of hot chocolate, the marshmallows slowly melting.

Every autumn and winter, they would often be found in front of the fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate each, talking and laughing about who knows what.

“Only this time, I made it,” Tauriel smiles.

Kili moves closer to her and puts an arm around her shoulders as he relaxes back against the pillows. “What a lovely house you've got, Tauriel. It's cosy, and... You. And thank you, I’m glad you did, it’s so good,” he says softly and takes a sip. “I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better Friday night.”

Thankful for the big mug hiding most of her face, Tauriel takes another sip as her cheeks get warmer.

“It’s getting boring to have a beer after every gig, or just go home and crash,” Kili laughs.

“Kili,” Tauriel mumbles into her mug, looking at him over the rim. “Where do you live now?”

“Oh,” he laughs and clears his throat. “Well...”

His eyes move from hers to just above her, and Tauriel turns to look out of her French doors, worried there’s someone out there.

“Since moving here, I bet you’ve been down to the lake a few times?”

She turns back to him, a confused frown on her face. “Yeah, why?”

“Ever noticed the house on the other side?” he asks, looking into her eyes again. “About right opposite, maybe a bit to the left.”

“House?” Tauriel laughs. “The abandoned mansion you mean?”

“The tales still live, eh?” Kili smirks.

“I don’t know if they do, can’t say I’ve heard anything about it since I moved away from here, just remembered it now that you mentioned it.”

“But have you? Seen it, I mean.”

“I’ve seen some lights on the other side from a few houses, and I’ve been out running in the area but not all the way to the other side so I can’t say I’ve seen it.”

“Eh,” Kili shrugs. “I think you’re able to see some of it, but the forest is much thicker now than when we were kids.”

“Well, I live there,” he smiles.

“You... It exists? And you live there? How?!”

“Do you know anything about my grandad, or my family’s business?”

“I heard your mum tell mum something when I was younger, she seemed upset, but I can’t remember what they talked about. Why?”

“It wasn’t really spoken about for years... My great-grandad built it, as a hotel. It went well, but it only really catered for the rich. Then when mum was young, more and more houses and cabins were built around here so the area wasn’t as, well, exclusive, big and untouched, as before, and people bought the cabins instead of staying at the hotel. And great-grandad went a bit insane, and it all went to hell ten years or so before Fili and I was born. They could keep the house, but they couldn’t afford living there, so that’s why we lived in that flat.”

Tauriel turns towards Kili, putting a leg up underneath her. “How did you get back?” she asks.

“Dad, Uncle Thorin, and Uncle Frerin, along with the rest of our family have been working like idiots for years, dad’s a real estate agent, Thorin took over granddad’s law firm together with Balin when he died, and Frerin and Dwalin own the motorcycle shop in the centre of Erebor. So we’re finally doing pretty well financially and so we moved back.”

“That’s amazing.” Her voice is soft, eyes big, and Kili can’t help but grin at her. He _is_ pretty proud of his family.

“But what about the house? How was it after being empty for so long?”

“Oh god,” Kili chuckles. “It wasn’t too bad, but far from great.”

“Everyone saved as much as they could, and we got a big loan from the bank 9 years ago, and then we renovated the place. It needed new plumbing, electricity, windows, walls and floors, everything!”

“So,” Tauriel hesitates, “who lives there now? Just you and Fili and your parents, or?”

“Oh, no, the whole family!” He laughs. “They knocked down a few walls, turned the hotel rooms into apartments. Fili, Ori, and I share the top with mum and dad, Thorin and Bilbo, Frerin, Dwalin, and Balin live on the second floor, and the first floor’s got a big kitchen and living room where we can all stay, along with guest rooms, bathrooms, a small movie theatre, and a library.”

“Wow,” Tauriel whispers.

“I love living there," Kili chuckles. "Oh! And you remember Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Nori, Dori, Oin, and Gloin, right?”

“Yeah.”

“They all live in houses down the road from us. And Uncle Dáin like 15 minutes away. So we’ve really taken back the area, us Durins,” Kili laughs.

“So, why does Ori live with you guys?”

“He’s with Fili,” Kili says. 

“Aww,” Tauriel grins. “I didn’t know!”

“I forget not everyone knows that,” Kili laughs. “Sorry.”

“So how about you, just the music or?”

“Nah, I mean, I love it, you know how much my family love music, I felt like I had to start playing something. But, it’s just a hobby.”

“Really?” Tauriel asks. “So what else do you do?”

“Work at the shop with Frerin and Dwalin, everything from the shop itself to helping repair motorcycles. I was, ah, a bit bored and restless as a teen so they dragged me to the shop so I’d have something to do, got an education on the side, and I’ve been there ever since.”

“That sounds great, I love how it’s a family business. What about Fili?”

“Boring accountant,” Kili laughs, and Tauriel snorts. “He’s always been good with numbers, so he’s working with Thorin, and also taking care of the joint finances for the house.”

“How’s your mum? I have a feeling mum’s still in touch with her, but she’s never told me anything.”

“She’s doing pretty good. Got a bit stressed out about the house, so while she still helped take some decisions interior wise, she needed to do something completely different so she started working at Bag End Books, that’s how she met Bilbo, and later introduced him to Uncle.”

“Wait,” Kili frowns, “I’ve been wondering the same lately... About your mum. Mum actually said something about you maybe being in town, that’s why I was looking for you during the gig.”

“You... You were?”

“Tauriel,” Kili says softly and takes one of her hands in his. “I’ve been looking for you at every gig for the past two years...”

“I’m always so full of energy and adrenaline, but ever since I wrote Autumn Leaf and started singing that, I always just... I sort of land again, see the audience properly for the first time even though I always sing it towards the end of our set... And I’ve been looking for you ever since I first sang it live.”

He suddenly looks at her with worried, big eyes. “You haven’t been to a show before, have you?”

“No,” she says softly, “I’ve known for a while you’re in a band, but I’ve... I’ve never, well, dared to go.”

“Hey,” Kili smiles, stroking her hand. “It’s alright. But I’m very happy you came tonight, thank you.”

“Me too,” she smiles.

“Enough about me, you have to stop me you know! How about you, what have you been up to these years, how did you end up back here?”

“I’m glad some things haven’t changed,” she grins, and Kili laughs.

“Well,” she starts, “part of the reason why I moved back is that I just started working at the high school as an archery teacher, it’s only a couple days a week so I teach some gymnastics as well... But I’ve always wanted to come back some day.”

“Huh, that’s awesome, Tauriel! I believe it suits you very well, though I would’ve thought you’d spend all day outside,” he chuckles.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Tauriel laughs. “I do spend most of my evenings and weekends outside though. I barely went to this side of town when I was a kid, so it’s nice to go for walks, explore the area.”

“I miss that,” Kili says, his voice soft as he looks at their hands, letting his fingers stroke Tauriel’s skin. “I’ve spent so many years inside, at the shop, writing or practising, or doing gigs... And I...” He takes a deep breath, huffing a laugh as he lets it out.

“I couldn’t really bring myself back to the forest after you left, and it really was the only place to be if you wanted to be outside, couldn’t stand the parks full of people...”

“Oh, Kili... I...”

She holds onto his hand a bit tighter. It used to be one of the most normal things to do when they were younger, now, now it makes her all warm, her inside full of butterflies.

“I went back, yesterday... To the flats, and, and the forest.”

Kili looks at her with a raised brow. “You did?”

“It was terrible.”

Her laughter is soft, but Kili can see she means it, her green eyes shining as they look up from their hands to his face.

“I saw our... Our initials on that tree.”

That makes Kili smile, and thankfully, it makes her smile too.

“But then... then I couldn’t help but think of when I left you.”

“No, no Tauriel, you didn’t...”

“But I did,” she interrupts him.

She looks at him with her big green eyes, and for a moment, Kili feels like he’s 10 again. But then a teardrop slowly rolls down her cheek.

“I left you...” she whispers.

“It wasn’t your fault!” Kili quickly turns towards her, grabs her upper arms, and pulls her close. Wrapping his arms around her, Kili hugs her tight, surprised at his own gentle shushing sound when her sobs come.

It’s an awkward position, both halfway on the sofa, knees against each other. So with a hold on Tauriel’s waist, Kili sits back against the pillows, and Tauriel lifts her right leg from the floor and over Kili’s legs, straddling his thighs.

His hands are firm, but gentle, as they stroke up and down her back, carding through her hair. Tauriel lets herself relax against him, and lies her head on his shoulder. 

“It wasn’t your fault Tauriel, don’t you ever blame yourself,” Kili whispers into her ear.

She tucks her hands around him, between his back and the sofa cushions.

“But I could’ve found you sooner. All these years I’ve been so upset about losing you, and I had no one to talk to...”

“And I could've found you. But we were young. And even though I never stopped thinking of you, life happened, and the days flew... I’m so sorry.”

Tauriel hums against his neck. Kili’s black hoodie is soft under her chin, and he smells of flowers, having used her soap, and it makes her smile.

She lifts a hand up to his neck, letting her fingers stroke over his beard.

“Do you like it?” Kili chuckles. He had often told her that when he grew up, he’d grow a beard like Uncle Thorin, but Tauriel is glad it’s only stubble.

“I do,” she says.

 

“Tauriel?” Kili mumbles into her hair after a while. “Are you falling asleep?”

He can barely hear the “mhm” hummed against his shoulder, and chuckles.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” he says.

She sits up, tired eyes looking back at him. “Will you stay the night?” Tauriel asks, “Please?”

“Of course,” Kili smiles.

 

******* 

 

The next morning, Tauriel wakes up to an arm under her neck, another around her stomach, and Kili’s soft snores behind her.

And the sound of a text message.

Doing her best not to wake Kili, she stretches out her arm and grabs the phone from her nightstand. It’s from her mum.

“ _I trust you had a good night yesterday_ _;) dailydale.com.rv/did-they-find"_

Tauriel frowns at the screen and clicks the link her mother has sent her.

“Fuck,” she whispers, the anger, and anxiousness, hitting her as the article from their local newspaper open.

It’s a photo of Kili hugging her, then one of them looking at each other, Kili with his hands on her cheeks.

She’s angry their first meeting ends up in the paper, anxious about what this means for them, for Kili. But she can’t stop looking at the photos and have to admit to herself, as she saves them to her phone, that she’s glad someone took them. The way they look at each other...

_  
“During the song Autumn Leaf, Kili Durin, from the local band Durins, ran off the stage and into a mysterious woman’s arms. Is this the woman he’s been singing about? Did Kili finally find his Autumn Leaf? When the concert was over, he was seen going back to her, and bringing her backstage.”_

  
“I did,” Kili mumbles against her neck as he lies his head back down.

Her heart jumps in her chest at the sound of his voice, and she moves to lie on her back to be able to look at him.

“Don’t you worry, Tauriel.” His voice is deep, and with his eyes still closed, he snuggles closer and kisses her shoulder. “It probably won’t be more than that article, they rarely write anything, and if they do, it never really affect us.”

Her cheeks go warm from the feeling and sight of him snuggled up against her side, with his arms around her. It’s a wonderful feeling, a comfortable one too, and she doesn’t want the morning to end.

“I should probably post something online to confirm it though, we don’t need unnecessary rumours going around.”

Then her phone chirps again.

_“Hope to see you both for lunch over at the Green Dragon at 12 pm.”_

Kili blinks as his own phone chimes twice and turns over to grab it before snuggling close to Tauriel again.

 **Mum:** _  
“See you at 12, dear! ;)”_

 **Fili:** _  
“I take it you stayed the night at Tauriel’s since you’re not home? Is that why mum’s been smiling all morning?”_

“I guess they did stay in touch, or started talking again now that you guys have moved back,” Kili chuckles. “Let’s stay in bed until we have to leave.” He puts his phone under the pillow, and his arm around Tauriel’s waist again, pulling the duvet up over their shoulders.

“Sounds good,” she grins.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this lil story of mine! Kudos and comments are always welcome, and appreciated! ❤  
> [This fic's tumblr post](http://gaaladrieel.tumblr.com/post/179762306615/autumn-leaf-taurielkili-modernau-one-shot)  
>  
> 
> [(Sort of how I imagine Tauriel's house (in case anyone's interested)](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/99/88/d9/9988d94bc10f9a30cf9d79d510b11aaa.jpg)


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